I'm not ready to post this on the other blog, but I will eventually once I've sorted some things out because I'm sure there are other women in my position that have no where to turn.
I met with the plastic surgeon yesterday. Going in, I was leaning towards the TRAM flap procedure which uses my fatty tissue from my stomach to make my new boobs because that would mean a tummy tuck and new boobs all at the same time. I know that the recovery time is longer because it is a major surgery in two different areas, but it would be my own tissue and not a foreign substance.
Dr. Fernandez explained both procedures (using implants or fatty tissues). For the implants, it is a gradual process because they have to insert expand the muscle to be able to put the implant under it. After the mastectomy they would insert a small implant and then I would go in every week and they would add more saline to it until we reached a size that I'm happy with and then I would go back in to have the permanent implants put it. With the TRAM flap, they disconnect the blood vessels from the stomach area and then have to reconnect them in the breast area and hope that they take.
I laid down on the table and he moved his hands over my stomach and told me that he doesn't think I have enough fat to do both breasts. On one hand I was happy that I the doctor told me I didn't have enough stomach fat to maintain my C cup, but he has been getting away from doing this procedure and his partner handles most of the TRAM flap cases now, so I have another appointment with his partner on Wednesday just to see if he agrees.
He showed me pictures of both and honestly, I do not like the look of the breasts that used their own fatty tissue. The implants looked much better. If I don't have enough to maintain my cup size, I don't think I would be comfortable going smaller.
This is already hard enough and I know that they aren't going to look like my natural breasts, but I don't want them to look ugly or smaller. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see.
I had such a hard time looking in the mirror after the lumpectomy. The doctor told me they had to take more tissue just to make sure they got everything and I was so worried about how it would look. I think it took me about a week to finally look in the mirror. I do notice a difference, but it's not a big difference.
I'm 31 years old and I want to be happy with my body and my boobs. I don't want them to look like cottage cheese, which is how the pictures showed them, so I think I'm not leaning towards implants.
Jason said he will go along with whatever makes me happy, but I also want him to be happy.
10 comments:
Hugs to you, Jenn, as you navigate this.
And I really believe Jason will be happy as long as YOU are happy. Yep. I do.
Hugs, and we're supporting you, whatever you chose :)
Sounds like implants may be the better option for you, even if it means more "work". But this whole procedure is going to be hard enough, you don't want to be unhappy every time you look in the mirror (or not look at all anymore).
Big hugs coming your way as you make these decisions.
Big *hugs* to you as you make this decision.
I also really do believe that as long as you are happy then Jason will be happy, too. I think it really all comes down to how you feel about it and what you think the best decision will be, as you said.
Good luck! I think you're going about this in the exact right way; taking your time and exploring all your options.
*hug*
Nothing wrong with that, Jenn. It's your body, you need to live in it - so it needs to look the way you can be most comfortable with. I agree with Min - Jason will be happy if you're happy. If you're happy, you'll be more confident, too!
Tough choice. And even though we all consider natural to be the best choice, I think implants have been shown to be safe in recent years. If you think nothing less than a C cup will do, then that's the choice you need to make. Like Mindy said, Jason will be happy if you're happy. And more importantly, healthy.
Good luck hon.
This is such a tough decision. It sounds like implants might give you the look you want and that's important to maintain your confidence and positive body image! It's good that you have options and that you are fully exploring them.
You know what Jenn.... this is ALL about you. What you need to do for YOUR future.... and what you WANT out of your future. So, own it, and do what will make you happy and healthy. Everything else can suck it... but I also know that if you are happy, then Jason and Haley will be too.
Huge hugs Jenn. You DO deserve to feel good about the results of the surgery, and I know you'll make the choice that's right for you. XXOO
Jason loves YOU, my friend. Your boobs are just a fun accessory. I know you'll make the right decision, and you will be beautiful and womanly at every step along the way.
Love you.
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