This question was posted on another blog I read and I found it interesting.
Here is my response:
What a great question?
I always wanted to be like my mom. She worked outside of the house, but we always ate our meals at home that were cooked from scratch. We hardly ever ate out. She was able to put up with my dad and was a great mom to my sisters and me. We didn't spend our weekends cleaning to make the house look spotless, but somehow it always looked tidy and nice.
My mom died when I was 12 and my dad remarried. My step-mom did cook a lot, but it seemed that we were getting pizza at least once a week. I think every Saturday that we were at home, I was the one cleaning the entire house (my sisters are 10 & 11 years older, so they had already moved out). My step-mom wanted me to cook at least once a week, but would never show me how and I think I refused to learn from her because I resented her for coming into my life.
Now, my house is not perfect. I can barely cook and most of it is something out of a box definitely not from scratch. I am not a perfect mom because it seems that I lose my cool a lot. I work outside of the house and my coach works long hours, so it's usually just our daughter and me for dinner which is different from the family dinners I had growing up.
I don't think I could ever be the wife & mom that my mom was, but I think I'm doing an okay job. We are healthy and have food to eat and a place to sleep and that's what is important to me.
What about the rest of you, my faithful blog readers, are you the wife you thought you would be?
4 comments:
Hey Girlie,
I do not mind at all. I actually stole the question from Oprah (who I normally do not watch but DVR it Monday) "Are you the mom you thought you would be." Since I am not a mom, I changed it to be wife.
I'm not. But really, I'm OK with that - because Jason isn't exactly the husband I expected. Don't get me wrong, I love him and I'm glad I married him and he goes far beyond my expectations in some things, but he lacks in others. He's human. So, a lot of how I am as a wife plays off of that. And you also can't expect yourself to be someone you're not.
For example, I thought I would be more tolerant. But, I'm a pretty picky, stubborn person - so I shouldn't be surprised that our fights often revolve around me wanting things "just so" and his not agreeing! I thought I would be a better team player, and frankly, that's something J and I *both* struggle with - we're both independent and have our own lives and careers that we feel strongly about. We butt heads about who's things are "more important" rather that what's better for the team as a whole.
What a great question!
I am definitely not but I think a lot of that is that I've taken a totally different path than I imagined growing up.
I assumed that I would stay in my home state, maybe even my hometown and live near my parents and siblings. Instead I moved out of state, first 500 miles from my parents and now 1300 miles from them.
I assumed that I would have kids and be a SAHM. Instead, I am CF and work outside the home, although I still don't see myself being particularly career-driven.
I never would have imagined marrying a man like DH. He is intelligent and funny and we bring out the best in each other but it's just not what I had pictured.
Despite all those differences, I am extremely happy with the life we've created together. Just goes to show that a kid's imaginings of grown-up life can be lacking a lot; in particular, the adult I would become.
Great question. I'm not really the wife I thought I'd be. I thought that I'd be more patient, more fertile, more frugal...
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