What about discussing masturbation?
I came across this blog today on iVillage http://www.blogher.com/oprah-asks-are-you-prepared-buy-teen-daughter-vibrator. The blog entry itself is not long, but there are many comments that I got caught up in before I brought this over here to talk about it.
I'm not sure that I could have this conversation with Haley. I wouldn't know where to start, but I guess that comes from the fact that no one ever talked to me about this stuff. My sex-ed came from the 7th grade class we had. Mom died when I was 12 and then dad asked me if I had the class at school and when I said "yes" that was the end of the conversation.
This is probably TMI but I didn't even buy my first vibrator until a few years ago and I was already married. I never really experimented with masturbation either. In my head I was a "good girl" and good girls didn't do that stuff.
Now I don't know if I would have wanted my mom to discuss sexual pleasure with me or buy me a vibrator. I think that would have been awkward. Maybe having the conversation with my sisters would have been different but by the time I was a teenager they were already living on their own or married.
Haley has never asked questions about her body. I did hear the word "sex" come out of her mouth while watching a commercial for Desperate Housewives and it shocked me, but then she wouldn't tell me what she thought sex was, so I think she's just heard the word and knows that it has to do with two people.
Some day I want to be like Mindy and be able to have the openness that she has with her boys. Maybe that would make the sex talk easier.
4 comments:
I don't think I'd even be comfortable talking about the Oprah episode with my mom, let alone the actual topic!
Oh Wise Mindy! Where are you?
I have no idea what I'd do. Absolutely none.
I'd never masturbated until I had had sex, and I was in my 20s for that. I did wish that I had earlier, because I think it would have helped me enjoy sex more initially. I wasn't raised to think sex was dirty, so I'm not sure why I had that opinion of masturbation. I guess it had something to do with my involvement with church.
Would I buy my daughter a vibrator? I'm not sure. I think probably not - I'd want her to masturbate, but I think maybe it would be easier to be pleasured by a man without a vibrator habit, kwim?
But, also, I'm obviously not a parent, so who knows what I'd really do/be able to talk about!
I don't know... I think that it's good that some women can be as open with their daughters.. but I think that if my mom ever gave me a vibrator, I would be reminded of her everytime I used it.. NOT a turn on. Why can't the kid make their own money (by doing chores around the house?) and discretely go buy their own. Are fathers supposed to buy their sons porn magazines and 'sleeves' ?
Plus... manual work never killed anyone.. it's more gentle and it's a better way to 'start' in my opinion than with a vib. Who has to buy the batteries over and over?
But I don't have kids.. who knows.. maybe I'll be vibrator momma if I ever have kids hehe.
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