I thought I would use today's entry to reply to some comments because I know that I don't always go back and read the comments again for more responses. :o)
On the moving entry:
RoseAnn commented: "It must be so difficult to have a family member as a landlord, especially if things are tense to begin with."
If I only had to deal with my dad, maybe things wouldn't have been so difficult, but then you throw in my oldest sister who only visits occasionally, and then it becomes a mess. She even managed to make our moving out miserable and took it out on our middle sister.
Mindy said: "Hoping you develop lasting friendships in your new area! "
Do you want to know what is wonderful about living here? We already have a built in support system with the other coaches' families and the students. We have had football players over here that just want to hang out. The head baseball coach sent his son over to mow our yard (we paid him) and his daughter is the cheerleader that went trick-or-treating with Haley. We have more people to do stuff with than we ever did in our hometowns. It is wonderful!
On to the missed blog challenge post:
Melissa said: "Maybe down the road a bit a PI wouldn't seem so crazy. Did your mom have any friends or siblings you could talk to? "
I have so little to go on. I think that he worked with my mom in Orange Park, Florida. My dad mentioned that he was her manager. Who would I even contact? Sears Headquarters. Do you think they would tell me who the manager was in 1979? My mom's best friend Alice sent me a letter the year after I found out. She didn't know any details, but she just wanted to let me know that I could talk to her if I ever needed to. Ever since then I have sent her a Christmas card with updates and she has always sent one back to me except for last year which really worries me. I wish my mom would have told someone, anyone. My mom had 5 brothers and 1 sister and I'm not really sure how much of the story they know. They have never liked my dad and have made it known very clearly that they do not ever want to see him again.
If my dad actually treated me like his daughter, I think I would feel differently about looking for my bio-dad. I went into my dad's office the other day when I was picking up Haley and my sisters' senior pictures are hanging on his wall, but there is no picture of me on the wall. In the living room, there is a picture frame with two holes that my sisters in their cap and gowns. He always talked about getting a different frame so he could put my picture up, but I've been out of school for 12 years and it's still not up. Do you know how much that hurts?
Okay now that I've gotten all of that out, I'm done talking about him. :o)
4 comments:
Jenn, what you're writing about your father is so heartbreaking. I hate that he is so inconsistent with you - that he, in some ways, pretends to fill the father role but then so blatantly favors your sisters. The more I read this week about this story, the more I think it compounds your grief over your mother's loss. You not only lost your relationship with her; you lost that link to understanding who you are and where you came from.
One thing I've learned from my relationship with my parents is that sometimes, things come too late. I wonder - even if your father were to hang the picture now, if it would fail to satisfy you because it's too little, too late.
I hate that you've had these experiences. I'm glad you're writing about them, though - I think it's bound to help. and I love the idea of responding to comments as an entry. I've been rereading a lot of old entries lately for some reason, and the wisdom contained in those comments over the years blows me away.
I couldn't have said it better than Heather. I'm sorry you've had to go through this; I can't even imagine.
I hope, some day, you can find some peace even if you never find any answers.
*hugs*
The whole situation is heartbreaking. It's almost like your dad is taking your mom's affair out on you, which is so unfair.
Forgive my speed of responding.
Jenn - I'm stunned. I simply had no idea. And I'm stunned because you are such an amazing woman - it's shocking you've dealt with all of that - and grown into this amazing, kind, loving, beautiful woman; heart and soul.
Your strength and faith in some of the things you've been through and shared with us has always just absolutely astounded me. And learning this about you just simply amazes me more. You are a mighty oak, Jenn.
I admire you for being that way, and at the same time, my heart breaks for you that you had to become that way.
I love you.
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